An Emotionally Distant Couple Watches Shakespeare in Love
TED, a claims adjuster and bicycle enthusiast, walks into his living room carrying a bowl of popcorn. He makes brief, neutral eye contact with his wife of twelve years, SUSAN.
Ted: I got the popcorn, honey.
Susan: Oh, I'd better get some paper towels.
(She does. Ted pops in the movie)
(Ted and Susan settle in on opposite ends of the couch. The movie begins)
PHILIP HENSLOWE: I can pay you! Two weeks, three at the most!
Ted: Oh look, honey, it's Captain Barbossa.
Susan: Yeah, it is...
(Silence. The movie continues)
WILL SHAKESPEARE: Henslowe, you have no soul, so how could you understand the emptiness that seeks a soul mate?
Ted: (involuntary shudder)
(The movie continues; Ted and Susan stare directly at the screen)
LADY VIOLA: No...not the artful postures of love, but love that overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love like there has never been in a play.
(Ted and Susan squirm in their seats uncomfortably. Ted feels the need to say something)
Ted: (reaching across the couch to punch Susan playfully in the arm) How come you never talk like that, babe?
(Susan smiles fractionally and then turns back to the screen, which she stares at desperately. The movie continues in silence. We reach the scene crosscut between the rehearsal and Viola's bedroom)
WILL SHAKESPEARE: My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love is deep...
LADY VIOLA: (speaking with him) ...the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite...
(Ted and Susan watch the passionate love scene with obvious discomfort. Ted looks down and fiddles with his watch. Susan suddenly turns to Ted, angrily punching him in the arm)
Susan: Why don't YOU ever fuck me like that, Ted?
Ted: (stares at Susan, mouth gaping and eyes bulging)
Susan: WELL?
Ted: .....
Susan: (slowly, meticulously turns back to the screen, grimly settling herself into the couch)
Ted: .....
(the rest of the movie passes in silence)
Ted: I got the popcorn, honey.
Susan: Oh, I'd better get some paper towels.
(She does. Ted pops in the movie)
(Ted and Susan settle in on opposite ends of the couch. The movie begins)
PHILIP HENSLOWE: I can pay you! Two weeks, three at the most!
Ted: Oh look, honey, it's Captain Barbossa.
Susan: Yeah, it is...
(Silence. The movie continues)
WILL SHAKESPEARE: Henslowe, you have no soul, so how could you understand the emptiness that seeks a soul mate?
Ted: (involuntary shudder)
(The movie continues; Ted and Susan stare directly at the screen)
LADY VIOLA: No...not the artful postures of love, but love that overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love like there has never been in a play.
(Ted and Susan squirm in their seats uncomfortably. Ted feels the need to say something)
Ted: (reaching across the couch to punch Susan playfully in the arm) How come you never talk like that, babe?
(Susan smiles fractionally and then turns back to the screen, which she stares at desperately. The movie continues in silence. We reach the scene crosscut between the rehearsal and Viola's bedroom)
WILL SHAKESPEARE: My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love is deep...
LADY VIOLA: (speaking with him) ...the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite...
(Ted and Susan watch the passionate love scene with obvious discomfort. Ted looks down and fiddles with his watch. Susan suddenly turns to Ted, angrily punching him in the arm)
Susan: Why don't YOU ever fuck me like that, Ted?
Ted: (stares at Susan, mouth gaping and eyes bulging)
Susan: WELL?
Ted: .....
Susan: (slowly, meticulously turns back to the screen, grimly settling herself into the couch)
Ted: .....
(the rest of the movie passes in silence)
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