...why? That reads like it's boasting, but trust me, it's not. It's like "A Terrifying New STD: Only TEXANS get it! Do NOT move here!"

So. Ziegen Bock. What it has going for it is it's not the worst beer ever. It's not blatantly offensive like Skullsplitter. It's a bock, which is a type of beer, and I'm totally comfortable not knowing that until now. Seeing as this beer was as shitty as it was, honestly maybe I never needed to know that in the first place. Anyway, bocks are supposed to be dark and German. This beer certainly appeared dark, but the taste was watery as hell. And it had a REALLY unpleasant aftertaste. It was like drinking a glass of Keystone Light mixed with maybe an ounce of Black Butte, and then right as you swallow it, you ask yourself, "did someone stir this glass with a lit cigarette?"

I bought a sixer of this stuff the first week Luke and I were in Austin, and drank them with dinner. They were so unpleasant that I only drank a few sips with dinner, just to wet the old mouth, and then when I was finished I'd slam the remaining 90%. It was just inoffensive enough to not throw out. And I didn't throw them out, I drank all six, but damn did those bottles live in our fridge for a while. If the liquid in those bottles could have been used for anything else besides drinking - fuel, laundry detergent, dish soap, car wax, lubricant - I would have done that.

In conclusion, I know we're mostly going to be talking about good beer, but in actuality I think a negative review is more useful. If you see a beer that someone told you is good, you might get it, but if you see a beer that someone told you is horse piss, you almost definitely won't. So, you're welcome, I just saved you from ever drinking this cigarette water.