Hello friends (Aanyang and all that),

There have been so many times I've wanted to write  and so many of those times I would build up an anecdotal/informative email in my head, then think, "Ok, after one more episode of LOST"... Somehow, I've overcome the undertow of nonsensical television that is so readily available through the new tube that is the internet (I just learned about "torrent") and here I am -  finally writing.

First of all, you guys are awesome. Reading the updates, stories, whateverINDY'sspouting has been really nice. Eli - I haven't LOLed at an email in a long time. Thanks. This is some serious sap (although Chad's got us beat in that category, for the most part), but reading those things just remind me of how hella special, freakin' fantastic each of your personalities are and I miss all of you.

So some of the times and some of the things I can remember that I've wanted to write you guys:

Times of hilarity  - All those things you hear about  bad English on Korean t-shirts are true - they're everywhere and they're awesome. I just saw one earlier today at the local Dunkin' Donuts that I thought was particularly poetic: "I dream WILD rice." And last night, over a meal of "Pig spine soup" and "Coagulated Ox blood soup," our Korean friend told us about her experience in Canada with her favorite pink t-shirt that boldly explains, "Santa wants to fuck ME." At least it's a clear message with sound English - that's the best you can hope for. Korea is a really funny place. I mean, where else in the world could you find a grocery store that dedicates an entire aisle to an assortment of canned tuna and spam? Seriously, an entire aisle. 

The Job - I work at a private English school. There are about 2930698 "hogwans," as they're called, in a 2 feet radius - Korea is desperate to learn English. The business side of things is really fucked up - since the owners of the schools have been hiring native English speakers for a long time, they've mastered the art of contractually fucking over the foreigner. For example, my contract stated that I would be teaching for 30 hours a week. Turns out, this only includes "classroom hours" and excludes the pain-staking 15 extra hours a week that go into "lesson planning." Bastards. So I work a lot. And I'm tired all the time. Teaching is not easy - it's basically putting on a performance, entertaining for 9 hours a day. Also, in Korea, as the head teacher at my school puts it, "Break time is not break time. It's work time." But we get paid pretty nicely and our housing is taken care of, so can't bitch too much. There are 4 native English teachers and 8 Korean teachers, who teach English but speak it at about the same level as my best students. 

The upside - The kids are incredible. In the morning, I teach 5,6,7 year olds English, math, science, social studies, and PE. It's such a surprise, but I've fallen in love with 18 little rugrats. It's hard to control them sometimes and every teacher has their way. I've found that mine is through guilt. I've somehow managed to get them to like me and instilled in them a desire for my approval. So when they become overly stimulated and don't want to just sit the fuck down and learn about vowel sounds, I just give them the hella disappointed face/lecture and they settle back into place. Another thing that I've learned is to let them cry - there isn't a single day goes by that a kid doesn't cry. I used to feel like shit about it, but then I realized that they need to learn to not cry about stupid shit - like getting tagged during PE or getting the shortest pencil in class. They love their pencils and they'll go "to the dome" (TKE, TKE) for them. I also teach 8-12 year olds in the afternoon, who come to Wonderland (my school) after elementary school to get extra help with English. Those kids are alright and I'm not that close to them because they only come so often. Mostly, I just feel bad for them because they go to school from 8am to 8pm, or even later sometimes. They get bussed around from one school to another to get extra help with English, science, math, music, etc. They're always so tired and sad. They spend so much time in the classroom that they are incredibly socially stunted. Right now, my goal is to teach them social skills.

 

The Cynical Times (sounds like a newspaper that Matt Aliabadi would write for) - I'm pretty disappointed with the shittyness of the Korean teachers' English skills. I think if there's one thing necessary to teach English, it is to be able to speak and understand English. That's pretty bare minimum - but the people we work with just can't hang. The language barrier makes for some frustrating times. I'm also pissed about the focus of these hogwans. The truth is that the parents pay a shit ton of money to send their kids to these schools and so they have a lot of control over the way the school runs. The owners are the bitches of the parents and it's less about doing what's best for the child. 

After school activities - Jay and I try to recuperate from the long working hours during the weekend and every now and then, we get our fun in. We've made some interesting friends from Canada, England, and mostly South Africa. There are a couple really cool, interesting, smart people and the others...well, they would be completely lost during a GBN session. It's in the company of the latter that I find myself appreciating and missing the shit out of you guys. We brought Settlers of Catan to Korea and have gotten some people pretty into it. We've gone to clubs a few times, but found that it's not really our scene. I miss dance parties, Rathwell. 

The bars are pretty cheap...oh and the BEER!! The beer is...drumroll...SHIT! Yay! There's HITE and CASS, both brewed with coughed up hairballs of the ugliest, oldest cats found in Korea. Really, it says so on the label (but that's my Korean translation of it)! There is something called SOJU, which is similar to monarch vodka, but cheaper and more lethal. It gets you fucked right quick, but the next day, you get the feeling of being the oldest motherfucker who's been living with liver and throat caner for an eternity. The aftertaste of moth balls and toxic waste lasts for at least 24 hours. Refreshing! So with my limited beer life, I don't know how much I'll be able to contribute to the blog on that topic, maybe I'll continue to update on the hilarious bad English t-shirts instead. 

We've gone hiking and backpacking a few times since being here.  We went on a 3 day backpacking adventure, during which we climbed the highest mountain on mainland Korea. It isn't that tall, but it was insanely difficult because Korean hiking consists of going straight up and then straight down. At the top of the mountain, we were greeted with about 50 other people - it's hard to get away from the masses, even in the wilderness. 

For Christmas break, we're going to Thailand. Have you seen the movie The Island? Well, we're going there. It looks like one of those posters with the white sand beaches and palm trees. It'll be a well-deserved break. Plus, I am really excited about the food, since I've had a hard time with the vegetarianism here.

I'm learning Korean. Slowly, but still. I know a lot of greetings and I can say stupid shit like, "I have an apple. Do you have an apple? You are my friend. You are very cute. Do you have an eraser?" etc. I know all the phonetics of the vowels and consonants, so I can walk down the street and read everything but not know what it means. It's pretty surreal. But sometimes things are phonetically translated from English and I can figure it out. Like, a sign will say "Sa Ooo Nah" in Korean and I can smooth it out to understand, "Sauna."

I've taken up drawing as a hobby and have been using Jay as my model/muse. There are some pretty terrible sketches of him all over the apartment - his nose is impossible! As far as living with a boy goes, I'm learning to watch more Schwartznegger films with an open mind. But seriously, we're learning a lot from each other about the opposite sex; mostly about feelings and how we rationalize shit in different ways. I find myself having to explain the most obvious emotions and ways of conduct! And he's coping with non-TKEhood.

I think I've written more than enough for now. Sorry if there are unnecessarily verbose details that you don't give a shit about. As Marnie knows, this is very characteristic of me. I hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to reading more from you guys.

Love, Margi