GCN... no that's not a typo

So up in the New England region, seasonal apple picking is a thing.

Like people go to orchards, and pick apples themselves, straight off of the tree. Sort of like going to the pumpkin patch... but for apples.

I was unaware of this until a couple of weeks ago:

At which point we got many apples. We also got two gallons of fresh apple cider.

So naturally I got together with Andrew, who was also on this apple-picking escapade along with his wife Madeleine, to take said fresh apple cider and turn it into boozy apple cider. (Andrew and Madeleine are definitely in the honorary GBNer category... I'd love to introduce them to any/all of you.)

Currently, there are two gallons of frothing who-knows-how-this-will-turn-out cider sitting in a sanitized bucket slowly fermenting in our storage room... to be consumed by our unwitting relatives who will be visiting for Thanksgiving.

This is a very random story I've told to you.

But it seemed relevant to GBN, and I miss you guys. The #vanrudwall affair was such a fun time... we need another get together soon. Hopefully by that point I'll have a decent cider recipe ready, and we can make it a GCN, too.

And now I will see who is the first to read this post, since it's the first in like 3 years... my money is on Todd.


P.S. For the sake of having and keeping jobs... I went back through the archives and, uh, cleaned up a little. The posts are still hilarious... but perhaps not for public consumption. That is why they have simply been reverted to drafts. There they shall be safe and easy to read for us. They won't need to be permanently deleted until Indy runs a high profile campaign for Warsaw County Sheriff.

Interesting Development

So... we're about to see good beer tallboys.

Quite the development. Although it's hard to argue with getting to buy pints of good beer instead of just 12 ounces, there's something... trashy about tallboys that doesn't quite fit the "good beer" platonic ideal.

I'm sure I'll get over it though.

Cheers!


P.S. As a operational side note, Blogger changed its interface. And now our GBN blog looks even shittier than it did. I suggest someone (read: Eli) fixes this.

Can or Bottle?

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2011/08/05/pm-the-beer-packaging-debate-can-vs-bottle-/

Should I Return
By T-VO

Should I return
From my interview
With IPA in hand
Or something new,

Share a prost
To my new career,
And the miracle
Of tasty beer.

But should I show,
Laden with Bud Light,
Please lend a hand,
and get drunk tonight.

For More:
http://www.npr.org/2011/07/24/137788995/yo-bro-belly-up-to-the-bar-and-recite-broetry

All it needs is the iFup App

GBN Reunion? For realsies?

Umm... so we should get together. In May? Memorial Day Weekend? Austin/Nashville? Let's discuss some possibilities...

New Blog Plug

Friends, I'm inviting you to follow my travels through South and Southeast Asia over the next eight weeks through my new blog: thesweatyamerican.tumblr.com. There isn't much there now, but soon there will be a diary of discomfort for all to enjoy. Hope you enjoy living vicariously through me from the comfort of your temperate climate and bland cuisine. Hope you're all well. After Asia I'll be continuing my next chapter in the Sweatyamerican series with the Sweatyalaskan in Los Angeles. Keep me updated on your whereabouts in June. I'd love to meet up.

I do declare

It is time for another GBN reunion! It's been nearly a year and, although I've had more than my share of great Colorado micros, there has been a poignant absence of the age old GBN tradition in my new rocky mountain home. As GBN's resident Coloradoan, I have a few insider notes on the beer landscape of the state that brought you Coors Light, but really the only appropriate venue for such communications is a common space with a profusion of micro six-packs (and maybe some 12s).
For those of you still in school (which by the way is so 2008) let me know when you get your break and we'll see what we can work out.
Cheers to good beer!

I Saw This And Thought Of All Of You . . .

http://exercisingwhileintoxicated.wordpress.com/2010/07/26/the-beer-every-mile-sf-half-marathon-13-beers-in-13-miles/

I think that speaks volumes about the nature of our friendships . . .

Quorum!

Quorum!
























Girl you got too much booty for your pants.












Eddy bong!













Eddy Bang!















Boobytrapped.

GBN Quorum

John Stewart has joined us in Austin, TX. Aptly, it is a Tuesday. However, we are drinking shitty beers... so it's a GBN in spirit more than practice.

But GBN was always more about the spirit, no?

I miss the rest of you. Looking forward to the weekend when Carolina and Tamara will be joining us for many rounds of All Hands on Deck and more.

This High Life's for all y'all.

GBN Reunion... Fo' Realsies

Carolina of the Van Horn clan will be joining us in Austin over Easter weekend. Folks should fly/drive/run in from miles around to join us for epic feasts of chocolate eggs and bunny rabbits, and great pints of the finest ales. I'm specifically eyeballing the folks in our near(ish) proximity: Tamara and Stew.

What better way to celebrate the Spring Fertility festival ( Passover for all you Jewish-types) than with good friends and brew?

Make it happen.

Google, I Take Back Everything Good I Said About You

Google Autocomplete is the Best Thing Ever

So you know how when you're typing something into Google, after a few letters/words it pops up with a list of suggestions? Sometimes it's kind of helpful, even useful, but the main benefit is that you get a (terrifying) insight into the soul of the masses.

Here's what you do. Type the phrase "can you" into the Google search engine, then a space, then a random letter. See what pops up. What you get is a list of questions. What blows my mind is that these are the most searched questioned. Thousands of people, maybe millions, have typed out these questions into Google feeling anything from random curiosity to desperate need. Well.

"Can you actually" generates these:

Can you actually curve a bullet - No. Can you actually pass a high school physics class?

Can you actually die of boredom - This one I understand. I can imagine staring at the Google search page for 10 minutes, weeping, then just throwing it out there. I am not surprised that this makes the list.

Can you actually make money taking surveys - Jesus.

Can you actually see russia from alaska - Was Sarah Palin actually that popular? Why? I mean, George Bush was an easy target too, and haven't we pretty much forgotten about that guy?

Can you actually grow taller - There are some desperate, desperate short people out there doing the internet equivalent of throwing a penny into a fountain. Dear Internet Fairy...

Can you actually die of a broken heart - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, this is just good horse sense. I know when I'm feeling a little blue, the thing I turn to for comfort is THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET.

Can you actually tip a cow - This one is a head-scratcher. Doesn't this seem like kind of a specific question for it to be so popular? I mean there's no reason to be curious about this unless you're trying to test it out, and the Venn diagram for "people who tip cows" and "people who have access to the Internet" seems like it would have a small center.

Bonus round: Typing "can you" and then a random letter. Try the letter G.

Can you get pregnant on your period - OK, this seems reasonable. That's something you might want to double-check.

Can you get pregnant from pre sperm - Um. OK, is that really...?

Can you get pregnant on birth control - Hang on, that's not... seriously?

Can you get pregnant from being fingered - You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Christmas

Well, it's Christmas Eve and I'm back here in the Northwest for a few days. I randomly bumped into Emily Tomita in an Olympia coffee shop yesterday, and catching up with an old Whitman friend made me feel all nostalgic. I miss the hell out of all of you and I want to know what's new with everyone. Merry Christmas to some, happy belated Hanukkah to others, and festivus cheers for the rest of you.

Two Friends

Well, well, boys and girls, it appears as though Todd (for all of this girlfriend talk) has been spending a lot of time drinking in front of a computer monitor.

That is a recipe for a computer full of viruses.

I wanted to take this opportunity to announce the opening of the micro-est of microbreweries:

Two Friends Brewery was started in 2009 by one person in his now-estranged roommates' closet. In early-November of 2009, the entire brewing operation was moved from that closet to a communal closet because someone wanted to live in the (now-defunct) brewery.
With the change of scenery, Two Friends brewmaster released his first ever beer-that-doesn't-suck.

"Big, Sloppy Belgian" is a classic Belgian strong ale: a malt-forward dark ale with a pleasant sweetness and notes of licorice and darker fruits is shaded by an eggshell-white head and contains enough alcohol to lower the inhibitions of even the most guarded 18-year-old.

BSB is only available on-tap at Adam, Mike and Kevin's apartment. (You will have to move the cookbooks if you want to pour yourself a glass.)

Friend-of-the-brewery and artist-in-non-residence, Haas, is mocking up the brewery's logo. Merchandise (including t-shirts, full-zip hoodies, glassware and personalized autographed 8x10 glossies) are available by mail-order.

Please etch the item you would like and your size (if clothing) and gender/measurements (if glossies) on the underside of a LG 55-inch 1080p Backlit LCD HDTV and send to Seattle, WA. Please include $5.75 for shipping and handling.

Two Friends will be having monthly releases of its new line of product, including seasonals. Look forward to our upcoming signature Pale Ale "Knapped in the Closet: An American Ale-gory" and our "Tap It, Don't Whack It" Chocolate-Orange Porter.

Tastings will be held every night that it gets dark before 4 pm in front of the brewmaster's virus-infected computer.

Friends-of-the-brewery are always welcome to visit. Fun is mandatory; clothing, optional.

Winter Seasonals and a pleasant surprise.

So, I know I haven't had to say to much about beer in the last 6 months, but I had several occurances last night that I feel obligated to report:

First, Jubelale 2009 is back and better than ever. I'm predicted that this will be the Winter Ale of the year. It's much smoother and not nearly as offensive as it's predecessors. That is, you'll actually want to drink more than one of these at a time. It kind of has a hint of the Snow Plow of yore in it as well. Highly Recommended.


Second, the world of beer is changing before our eyes: Moose Drool and Fat Tire now comes in cans, Budweiser makes a Hefe, and it seems harder and harder to find legitimate "Microbrews."

Good beer in cans, to me, is a good thing. Now I don't have to drink Cole Smead's piss when I'm camping or hiking. Cans around going to make the hung-over pack out much easier. They're also easier to recycle. As Indy Z put it, "Victory!"

I know we all scoff at Bud's attempts to appeal to a market with a finer pallet, but what if they make something that actually tastes good? Given, it's unlikely, but that would really fuck with my beerality if it happened.

Lastly, it seems like the growing microbrew industry is it's own worst enemy. How can Widmer, Belgium, Pyramid, and Alaskan still qualify as microbrews when they produce millions of gallons a year? My only hope is that they don't sacrifice quality for market share as they grow from a nationwide into a global product. Thoughts?

Well, I suppose my semiannual update is slightly overdue. It’s winter here. Again.

The summer blazed by with my brother’s weddings in China and Oregon. Fairbanks enjoyed one of the driest, hottest summer’s on record. We even broke 90 for a day in July. Schmidt made a brief return to the frontier and had enough time to slay a couple dozen salmon and check out my new house. That’s right, I moved again. I counted the other night and I think this is the 13th time I’ve moved in 5 years. Fuck, this is getting old.

Anyway, the new place is awesome and even has running water, which I reckon means that I’ve moved in the early 20th century. I still have an outhouse, but I’m not complaining. I’d rather not deal with a sewage leak in the house at -40F. There are photos on Facebook if you want to get a better look.

I recently had an old friend, Rachel, visit me in Fairbanks. She was on her way to Dutch Harbor to work on the latest season of Deadliest Catch. She’s a real special gal that I met with studying in St. Andrews. We hadn’t seen each other in over two years so it was great to reconnect. I’ll be spending a week visiting her in LA over New Years. Sorry, Eli, this means you missed your window and I’m off the market again. I hope you guys get to meet her some day. If anyone else is in LA area the 31st through the 9th of January, let me know.

As for beer news, I’m still waiting for most of the winter seasonals to arrive. It seems like it’s taking long this years, doesn’t it? I’m more concerned about Powderhound and Jubilale returning than I am about getting my H1N1 vaccine.

I did go to a local Oktoberfest about two months ago and had some really tasty beer and grub. You know what goes better with an Oktoberfest beer better than anything? A scotch egg is what. It’s a hard-boiled egg coated with a sausage/breading mixture and deep-fried… on a stick. A gut bomb for sure, but Drunkard McSloppy is a huge fan.

Coming up to present, I just spent last weekend in Hawai’i for the 3-day Hopu ultimate coed tournament.

I’ve decided that arranging my vacations around Frisbee tournaments is a stellar way to travel. Three days of lodging, food, beer, and fun in paradise all covered for about a $100 fee. That’s hard to beat. And it’s not like any of it was skimped. We had Indian, Thai, and Hawaiian food catered for us and the beer never stopped. If you ever get a chance to get something from the Big Aloha Brewing Company, DRINK IT. DRINK IT ALL. Forget about Kona Brewing, Big Aloha is to Kona as Lacht Neppur in Waitsburg is to Widmer. This is an annual tournament, so if any of you are interested, we should do it next year, maybe hop on a spirit team, and stay longer than just the weekend. There were a couple of Whitties (Matt Stenovec and Molly Smith) down there already, so maybe we could put together an alumni team?

Now I’m settling in for another long Winter. I’ll be stirring in my den around April. Be thinking about coming up next Summer. I may be moving on next Fall…

I miss all of you . . .

Call It Stout, Though It Isn't

I'm glad such a venerable publication as the NYT shares my interest in both beer and assuring no misunderstood term remains so (misunderstood, that is). I'm also glad that the author has a "go-to midday brew."

And I'm most glad of all that I have only 26 days left in San Diego until I get to go home and mooch off my parents for the nearly two-month long Hanukah/Christmas/Birthday/New Year's season (because, let's be honest, now that we're on our own, we all know that paying rent really, really sucks the hairy root).

A Tribute to Dos Equis, the Most Inoffensive Beer

Dos Equis goes with everything. Dos Equis neither adds nor subtracts from any experience above and beyond its status as cold, wet, and laced with alcohol. It will quench your thirst. It will cool your brow. And it will get you drunk. Beyond this, it simply tastes like beer. Completely indifferent beer.

You may think I'm trying to bash Dos Equis, but this is far from the truth. Dos Equis should be your go-to beer for nearly every occasion. Here's why: if your goal is to get drunk, there are beers for that. They come in cans. We all know them. Every single one is at least mildly offensive to the taste buds in some way. You're not drinking a Key Ice with dinner, is what I'm saying. Only if your food is deep fried or slathered in BBQ sauce or both are these beers acceptable compliments to your meal.

At the same time, if you're trying to drink some fine-ass beer, there's a whole world of microbrews, and the Deschutes and New Belgiums of the world are forever coming out with new tasty treats. And old ones. I just picked up a Biere de Mars and I'm going to drink it in a sensory deprivation chamber because that shit tastes GOOD.

But both ends of the extreme are few and far between in our post-college lives. The endless days of Keystone Light are behind us (right?) and we're not so grown up we can both afford and are pretentious enough to drone on about microbrews all the time.

So, for the 90% of the time when you want a beer that doesn't complicate your life, try Dos Equis. Just drink that shit all the time. But not really all the time because then you'd be an alcoholic. But drink it a lot.

Dos Equis: It goes down your throat