Sunday, February 14, 2010
Google Autocomplete is the Best Thing Ever
So you know how when you're typing something into Google, after a few letters/words it pops up with a list of suggestions? Sometimes it's kind of helpful, even useful, but the main benefit is that you get a (terrifying) insight into the soul of the masses.
Here's what you do. Type the phrase "can you" into the Google search engine, then a space, then a random letter. See what pops up. What you get is a list of questions. What blows my mind is that these are the most searched questioned. Thousands of people, maybe millions, have typed out these questions into Google feeling anything from random curiosity to desperate need. Well.
"Can you actually" generates these:
Can you actually curve a bullet - No. Can you actually pass a high school physics class?
Can you actually die of boredom - This one I understand. I can imagine staring at the Google search page for 10 minutes, weeping, then just throwing it out there. I am not surprised that this makes the list.
Can you actually make money taking surveys - Jesus.
Can you actually see russia from alaska - Was Sarah Palin actually that popular? Why? I mean, George Bush was an easy target too, and haven't we pretty much forgotten about that guy?
Can you actually grow taller - There are some desperate, desperate short people out there doing the internet equivalent of throwing a penny into a fountain. Dear Internet Fairy...
Can you actually die of a broken heart - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, this is just good horse sense. I know when I'm feeling a little blue, the thing I turn to for comfort is THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET.
Can you actually tip a cow - This one is a head-scratcher. Doesn't this seem like kind of a specific question for it to be so popular? I mean there's no reason to be curious about this unless you're trying to test it out, and the Venn diagram for "people who tip cows" and "people who have access to the Internet" seems like it would have a small center.
Bonus round: Typing "can you" and then a random letter. Try the letter G.
Can you get pregnant on your period - OK, this seems reasonable. That's something you might want to double-check.
Can you get pregnant from pre sperm - Um. OK, is that really...?
Can you get pregnant on birth control - Hang on, that's not... seriously?
Can you get pregnant from being fingered - You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Here's what you do. Type the phrase "can you" into the Google search engine, then a space, then a random letter. See what pops up. What you get is a list of questions. What blows my mind is that these are the most searched questioned. Thousands of people, maybe millions, have typed out these questions into Google feeling anything from random curiosity to desperate need. Well.
"Can you actually" generates these:
Can you actually curve a bullet - No. Can you actually pass a high school physics class?
Can you actually die of boredom - This one I understand. I can imagine staring at the Google search page for 10 minutes, weeping, then just throwing it out there. I am not surprised that this makes the list.
Can you actually make money taking surveys - Jesus.
Can you actually see russia from alaska - Was Sarah Palin actually that popular? Why? I mean, George Bush was an easy target too, and haven't we pretty much forgotten about that guy?
Can you actually grow taller - There are some desperate, desperate short people out there doing the internet equivalent of throwing a penny into a fountain. Dear Internet Fairy...
Can you actually die of a broken heart - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, this is just good horse sense. I know when I'm feeling a little blue, the thing I turn to for comfort is THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET.
Can you actually tip a cow - This one is a head-scratcher. Doesn't this seem like kind of a specific question for it to be so popular? I mean there's no reason to be curious about this unless you're trying to test it out, and the Venn diagram for "people who tip cows" and "people who have access to the Internet" seems like it would have a small center.
Bonus round: Typing "can you" and then a random letter. Try the letter G.
Can you get pregnant on your period - OK, this seems reasonable. That's something you might want to double-check.
Can you get pregnant from pre sperm - Um. OK, is that really...?
Can you get pregnant on birth control - Hang on, that's not... seriously?
Can you get pregnant from being fingered - You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
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